BORN OF GOD
The Story of My Conversion
Chapter 4: A Sure Foundation
And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall. -Helaman 5:12 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/hel/5.12?lang=eng#11
It took a long time for me to build on that basic knowledge, that God really was there. I started praying and seeking God's will in my life. Over the course of about two years, I began to develop some faith. I noticed that my life had gotten better. I was happier, and for the first time felt I might have some kind of purpose.
But after some time went by, I felt like something was missing from my life again. I did not know what it was, so I sought out help from my Father in Heaven.
This was a huge step for me, to even believe in Him, but my understanding of God was probably a little different from other people. For me, He was a very vague idea of a Higher Power. I knew that He was there but I didn't know much about Him.
During this time of making changes in my life, I had also made some new friends. I had been hanging around them once a week or so for about nine months. There was something about them that was different from other people. I wanted to know what it was.
So in the summer of 2009 they were preparing to go to Prescott, AZ for a spiritual retreat they did every year. They invited me to come and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
When we arrived, I saw signs and a chapel that hinted very heavily that this was a Christian campground. And as I came to find out, these people I had placed myself around were all strong believing Christians. Well, I had more than a lack of belief in Christ and very strong opinions against religion, so this made me very uncomfortable and upset. The last thing I wanted was to sit around and be lectured about a belief in Jesus. I was fine with my vague "Higher Power". But I had just driven thirteen hours to get here and I couldn't just turn around and go home. So instead I went to the cabin I was assigned to stay in for the weekend, and I fell apart on my bunk bed. I had no idea what to do and I felt completely trapped. I was so far out of my comfort zone!
But I knew that there were few enough people there, that they would notice if I didn't come out for the planned activities. And I knew my friends were the kind of people to come and find out exactly why I wasn't participating. I didn't want to address that with them (that I did not believe in Christ,) so I washed my face, put on a big, fake smile, and told everyone I had just taken a nap. I didn't really have any other choice, so I tried to pretend I was OK.
That first night I went off by myself for as long as I could get away, and I just cried. I said a prayer to God (as I understood Him) and I asked for help. I remember that I asked Him to just change whatever He needed to change in me, to get me through the weekend.
But I hated it! Everyone was talking about their experiences with how Jesus had saved them and it was the last thing I wanted to hear. The entire weekend was about recovery and change. And I didn't want anything to do with it. There were speakers and workshops all weekend that focused on the negative things in their lives and the steps to overcome. I was not about to pour my soul out to all these people.
The weekend went on, and I continued to be confused, emotional, and exhausted. I don't know exactly what happened to me during those three days... But somewhere in there I began to really think about what they were saying. I wondered if this was what made them stand out against the world. I decided I needed to know if Jesus Christ was really who they said He was.
I broke down and started to be a little more honest with my feelings and questions. They told me that I could learn more about Him by reading the Bible. And one of these new friends, Bobby, gave me an old, well-used copy to take home and read. They told me to pray in the name of Jesus Christ.
I started praying, reading, and attending a non-denominational Christian church with some of these friends. I began to notice some changes in my life. I came closer to God and felt happier. There was so much power in doing these things and my faith grew stronger. Over time, as I came to realize that this was blessing my life, I knew that Jesus Christ must really be who they said He was.
Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do. -2 Nephi 32:3 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/32.3?lang=eng#2
I began to develop a relationship with Him and that proved to be a sure foundation. Throughout the next several months, as I dealt with life (and the struggles that come with it,) I realized that I really did believe in Jesus Christ. I had come to know Him in little ways and my life was better from that.
I testify that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and He lives. As we follow Him, we can all find happiness in this life and great joy in the life to come!
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me -John 10:27 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/john/10.27?lang=eng#
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It took a long time for me to build on that basic knowledge, that God really was there. I started praying and seeking God's will in my life. Over the course of about two years, I began to develop some faith. I noticed that my life had gotten better. I was happier, and for the first time felt I might have some kind of purpose.
But after some time went by, I felt like something was missing from my life again. I did not know what it was, so I sought out help from my Father in Heaven.
This was a huge step for me, to even believe in Him, but my understanding of God was probably a little different from other people. For me, He was a very vague idea of a Higher Power. I knew that He was there but I didn't know much about Him.
During this time of making changes in my life, I had also made some new friends. I had been hanging around them once a week or so for about nine months. There was something about them that was different from other people. I wanted to know what it was.
So in the summer of 2009 they were preparing to go to Prescott, AZ for a spiritual retreat they did every year. They invited me to come and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
But I knew that there were few enough people there, that they would notice if I didn't come out for the planned activities. And I knew my friends were the kind of people to come and find out exactly why I wasn't participating. I didn't want to address that with them (that I did not believe in Christ,) so I washed my face, put on a big, fake smile, and told everyone I had just taken a nap. I didn't really have any other choice, so I tried to pretend I was OK.
That first night I went off by myself for as long as I could get away, and I just cried. I said a prayer to God (as I understood Him) and I asked for help. I remember that I asked Him to just change whatever He needed to change in me, to get me through the weekend.
But I hated it! Everyone was talking about their experiences with how Jesus had saved them and it was the last thing I wanted to hear. The entire weekend was about recovery and change. And I didn't want anything to do with it. There were speakers and workshops all weekend that focused on the negative things in their lives and the steps to overcome. I was not about to pour my soul out to all these people. 
I broke down and started to be a little more honest with my feelings and questions. They told me that I could learn more about Him by reading the Bible. And one of these new friends, Bobby, gave me an old, well-used copy to take home and read. They told me to pray in the name of Jesus Christ.
Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do. -2 Nephi 32:3 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/32.3?lang=eng#2
I began to develop a relationship with Him and that proved to be a sure foundation. Throughout the next several months, as I dealt with life (and the struggles that come with it,) I realized that I really did believe in Jesus Christ. I had come to know Him in little ways and my life was better from that.
I testify that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and He lives. As we follow Him, we can all find happiness in this life and great joy in the life to come!
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me -John 10:27 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/john/10.27?lang=eng#
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