Saturday, January 5, 2013

Born of God: Chapter 3

BORN OF GOD
The Story of My Conversion

Chapter 3: Came to Believe
Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.  -Mosiah 4:9 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/4.9?lang=eng#8


I spent a lot of time in my life, doubting there was a God of some kind who loved me.  I guess it took a lot of pain for me to consider another option.  Things in my life got pretty bad, mostly because of the choices I was making.  I was seventeen years old when I hit a rock bottom.  It got to the point where I saw no purpose at all in my life and did not know what to do.  I was faced with an ultimatum:  give up or get help.

People I knew spoke of God, and how He had helped them.  Well, I decided that if He wasn't real, then no one could help me, and there would be no hope.  But this was the last thing I could think of that might give me a fighting chance.  



I spoke to a friend on the phone one night.  I had fallen back into some old behaviors and I didn't know how to overcome the challenges that were in front of me.  Brian told me that this was Satan trying to hold me back and keep me from my potential.  I asked him, "Well if Satan is reaching out for me, then where is God?  Why isn't He reaching out to help me?"  I wasn't trying to argue.  I really wanted to know.

I got off the phone with Brian and I pondered the things he had told me.  And I had a little thought cross my mind.  "Maybe God is reaching out to you... through Brian."

Even though it was a little thought, I had some big feelings follow it.  I couldn't breathe and  I was overwhelmed with feelings I'd never had before.  I didn't understand right away that it was the Holy Ghost, confirming that thought in my mind.  

I called Brian back and asked him what was happening to me.  The feelings of the Spirit were so foreign to me that I did not even recognize that it was He who was touching my heart.  I was shocked.  The Spirit doesn't always create such strong feeling in us but at this time, He was making sure I knew what I needed to know.

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God  -Romans 8:16 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/rom/8.16?lang=eng#15

So I came to believe in a Power greater than myself.  That moment started it, but it took time to begin to build a relationship with Him.  I started to exercise faith in Him by making changes in my life and believing that He was there to help me.  I began to pray, seeking His guidance in my life.  I found that as I listened more and more, I was able to start recognizing the quiet whispers of the Spirit.

Over time, my life improved dramatically.  I still had a lot to learn and I had a long road ahead of me.  But even with that basic bit of knowledge, I became so much happier and I felt that I had more purpose in my life.  This experience gave me much needed hope and pointed me in the right direction.  I don't know where I would be if it were not for a loving Father in Heaven who reached out to me that night.  And all I had to do was ask.


And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.  -Luke 11:9-10 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/luke/11.9-10?lang=eng#8

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